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How many of you have gone out to a bar for a good time? How about with a group of friends? I’m sure we all have at one time or another but how many of those bar nights ended in chaos? Can you count those nights on one hand? Now, I’m not trying to judge anyone here and say that anyone drinks too much but what I’m getting at when I ask about chaos is the always popular bar fight. So let’s run through it, shall we? You start out good and everything is going great but by the time last call comes around, some people seem to be pissed off and ready to fight. So what do you do? Do you jump in or do you step back and let them go? I guess it all depends on the situation and I don’t think it’s funny for anyone to get hurt but sometimes…sometimes the story behind it all is too funny to resist writing about and laughing.

So let’s take a trip back in time. A time when social media was not king, a time when Nextel reigned supreme. It was back in the winter of 2001 when I worked for a small police department in Florida as a 9-1-1 dispatcher. I used to ride along all the time with one of the female officers. The town was small so not a lot went on but there was a small dance hall where Mexican dances were held every weekend. We went there all the time to break up fights but there was one incident that I will never forget. It was a Saturday night and we were called out to a disturbance. We were hauling butt to get there and when we pulled in the officer I was with got out to help with crowd control. I sat there as people ran out of the dance hall and at the end of the group was a security guard and someone bleeding from the nose. I had to chuckle a little at the chaos but what I saw and heard next made me laugh so hard I about peed myself.

In back of those two was another guy. He was walking by himself and seemed to pose no threat to the people ahead of him but out of the corner of my eye I saw another guard who ran out with a can of pepper spray and nailed the non-threatening man directly in the eyes. The guard then went to the guy ahead of him and sprayed him as well. I quickly put two and two together that the men that were hit were the ones who had been fighting, but why spray the guy that wasn’t doing anything at the time. I was confused as it happened but the man who was calm screamed out as his eyes burned out of his head. Picture a monk walking out of a building and being pepper sprayed. The man could only yell out in agony…and in Spanish.

“¿Por qué Dios! ¿Por qué”, or “Why God Why!”

I shouldn’t laugh but it was funny and a crazy sight. I mean, the guy wasn’t doing anything and he gets sprayed before the guy in front of him who was actually trying to pull away from security. And then to hear him yell out to God was the funniest thing but in Spanish it made it even more funny. The night definitely ended in chaos but the chaos was hilarious! Another incident that happened was more recent. It was the night I graduated, so it was about 3 weeks ago or so. My siblings and I had gone to a bar on the water with a couple of their friends called, “Old Man Franks”. The place was somewhat of a hole in the wall type bar but those are always the best right? It looked like something Captain Hook would be proud of and the people who were there fit right in. The night was pretty good but as time progressed some people were obviously on edge and upset. At one point I found myself playing the role of peace maker between a friend of mine and a group of ladies who were ready to cut him because they thought he was trying to cut in line at the pool table. Luckily they understood my broken Spanish and everything was good.

The end of the night was a bit different. As people enjoyed the last half hour of the bar being open, a couple of girls were talking smack to each other. There were two security guards there and one of them told them to take it outside. Around that time my party was ready to leave. I remember hearing the girls outside scrapping and one of the security guards ran passed us with a quickness. He had ninja like movements and we got out of his way. The guard pulled out his pepper spray and nailed both females and they began to scream! I swear I heard one of them yell,

“I’M MELTING…MELTING!”

I could be wrong though. I could have been just hearing things since I had a couple drinks but it was funny either way. Now as crazy as that sounds something worse happened. As I walked towards the parking lot I noticed that my brother was walking out of the bar. One of the girls who had been sprayed was walking back in and bumped into him. She pressed her face against his chest and began to cry. Now let’s think about this situation. I mean, what would you do? Would you push her off or awkwardly comfort her? Well my brother decided to be a gentleman and decided to comfort her. It was very brief and he moved on. What sucked was that since he had been sweating from being inside the hot bar, he needed to wipe his face off. Well he ended up wiping his face with his shirt and guess what was on it? Yep, you guessed it…

“What the $%#& is on my face!? It burns and…”

“Oh $h%^! I bet it’s the pepper spray from that girl man”, I responded.

“God, I can taste it!”

In the beginning it was funny but after we found out that my brother was feeling it too it sucked. Do you have any awesome stories of this nature? If you do I want to read them! In the end, fights are fun to watch but when the pepper spray comes out you better watch out. Sometimes the chaos ends with someone getting hurt and that’s never a laughing matter but sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they end up being hilarious and when added together, pepper spray and bar fights equal a winning combination.

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