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I have been reflecting on all of the calls I have taken and although I would like to keep hitting you with the crazy calls, I thought I would give you a taste of something funny. During the first year of my current career I had already taken several calls that I never thought I would take. They were bad, they were good and they were very funny. I mean, I took a call once where a man was upset because his girlfriend was tossing his Spam out of the window of his camper. Anyhow, one that sticks out in my mind is a domestic call I took. Now I know that no domestic call is ever funny but this one was odd and funny.

It was a hot summer night and there was a full moon. For whatever reason the crazy shit hits the fan but we hang in there and do what we do. I was sitting at phones and the phone rang. I had already taken call after call and when I picked this one up I immediately heard screaming. I tried to get the caller to answer me but there was just yelling in the background. After bringing my voice down to a whisper someone finally spoke. I was relieved that I was able to make this technique work but the voice was not what I expected.

When the voice asked if I was there I pictured a Speak & Spell holding a phone up to where its ears would be. All I am saying is that the person had a robotic voice and I believe this caller was a person who had a Laryngectomy and was using a hand-held talking device. It was hard to understand this person and it turned out that the daughter of my caller was simply upset because she was not getting her way. Nothing bad had actually happened and they were just arguing. What made me look like an ass was that throughout the conversation I called this robotic wonder “Sir”. Why I went with sir, I don’t know but I assumed this was a man. Well I was wrong! This person was finally fed up with the sir business and said, “Sir…I am not a sir…I am a ma’am. This thing makes me sound like a man. HA-HA-HA”. Yeah…picture that with a robotic voice and try not to laugh. I wanted to at least chuckle but I bit my lip and stayed professional. After my shift I had a good laugh and to this day I remember it and it makes me smile.

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